March 5th,2012

 

Remember that potato chip commercial from years ago? “Betcha can’t have just one!” The idea was that if you tasted one chip, they were so-o-o-o good, you would not be able to resist taking another…and another….and another. Brilliant commercial, and it sold a lot of potato chips!

 

That whole idea of not being able to resist taking more once you have had one is the backbone of addiction.Obsession and compulsion are two parts of addictive disease that virtually ensure that the addiction ‘stays alive’, so to speak. Here’s how it happens: Obsession is the mental process whereby the drink/drug/porn/gambling event(or even potato chip !) is frequently foremost in one’s mind. The person pictures it in their mind, imagines how enjoyable the next use will be, remembers past events where it was enjoyed, ponders it and ponders it every which-way, builds up the excitement in their imagination, anticipating, anticipating, craving, craving, thinking of ways to arrange an opportunity to do it again. This is obsession. The brain is obsessed with getting that drink or drug or food item, etc., and getting the feeling sensation (the ’high’) that it wants.

 

Compulsion is what happens after the drink or the drug or the food item has been consumed once- the person feels compelled by the brain and body to have more. ‘One’is never enough. And the compulsion to have another and another and another is driven by brain chemistry. In addiction, the brain learns to ‘fall in love’, if you will, with the drink/drug, etc…. and naturally wants to experience it more and more. Now would be good. Right now. “Go ahead, there it is, take it! “, says the brain.   This is compulsion. This explains why an alcoholic can’t just have one. Perhaps, with alcohol, as the disease of addiction is beginning, the person may still be able to show intermittent ability to have just one and stop, for a little while. But often in those times, the obsession is alive and strong, and if the person is honest with him or herself, most would say they strongly desired to have another.Continued use usually ensures that the compulsion will strengthen over time. People who have struggled with an addiction to crack cocaine or methamphetamine will often say that there
was never an ability to ‘have just one’. The brain’s reaction was so strong that a second, third, fourth (tenth!)  helping was irresistible, until all the supply was gone and any available money source to get more was exhausted.

 

Obsession and compulsion ensure that the disease stays alive. It is a very strong ‘one-two punch’ and, sadly, it has cost many their lives. First smitten by an obsession that never lets you forget what you’re ‘missing out on’, then the compulsion takes over and dooms you to another miserable binge. Many people die, young and old, without ever finding freedom from this prison.

 

While God understands that we are prone to struggles like this,and even though God understands the intricacies of brain chemistry, he does not use our weakness or brain chemistry problem as an excuse. And neither should we! God loves us enough to want better for us than a prison of obsession and compulsive use, then more misery, then starting  it all over again. He wants us to break free of this trap, and learn to live lives free of obsession and compulsion. And the good news is, God is more than willing to help us!

 

 

The first of 12 Steps of Celebrate Recovery, similar to the first step of AA and NA, states :

“ We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors,   that our lives had become unmanageable."

The second step is : “ Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

And the third step reads: “Made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.”

 

These three steps can begin the journey of recovery, and they are an effective spiritual foundation upon which a life of freedom can be carefully built. In the next few weeks, we will take a closer look at these three steps, and what God has to say in his Holy Bible about them.

 

Let me end this week’s article with a passage from the Bible. King David wrote psalms to God, (they are like poems)and in the sixth one he wrote, verses 2 and 3 seem to speak the language of a suffering person’s heart:

“Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, Lord, for my body is in agony. I am sick at heart.” (New Living Translation) Sure sounds like someone who is getting honest about the pain; someone who is ready to stop pretending they can
handle it all. Someone who admits their life is a mess, and that they need help. God draws near to those who call out to him. He will surely draw near to you.

 

I would love to hear from you, so don't be shy - click the contact form  to the left side of this page, and send me an email. Your feedback and responses would mean a lot to me.

 

See you next week, friend.

 

Love,

Pastor Judy

 

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March 12,2012

 

The first step of Celebrate Recovery reads, “ We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and that our lives had become unmanageable.”

 

It’s a surrender thing.It’s like admitting to yourself, “ I can’t handle the drink or the drug, or my life, for that matter. It’s a mess and so am I."  Hard to admit to yourself, isn’t it? Harder to say it out
loud. Seems like everything inside of you is screaming for you to NOT admit this. The disease of addiction lives in your brain, and it doesn’t want to die, so it begins an assault on your thinking to try and stay alive. You hear thoughts in your head like:

 

You’re not powerless, you just had a hard day/week/month/year.

Or: Don’t be ridiculous – you can handle your life.

Or: What kind of wimp are you? You’re going to give up just like that?? Where’s your willpower????

Or: You’re not a drunk (or addict). They’re blowing this all out of proportion.

Or: Relax – things aren’t as bad as they look. This will all blow over.

 

Sound familiar? Consider these thoughts to be dangerous to recovery, friend. It’s your addiction talking to you. The truth of the matter is, if you could have handled your own life well, you would have by now. Telling yourself the truth about your situation is so important! As a matter of fact, since addiction is fed and supported by lying to oneself (aka denial!), the only chance of recovery you have is to be completely honest with yourself. The only way to a life of freedom is through honesty. The addiction has you in it’s grip and is able to control you only as long as you continue to live in a lie about it.

 

Jesus said in the gospel of John, chapter 8, verses 31 and 32, that if we stick to what He teaches us, “….Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” He wasn’t kidding. Truth (honesty) is the only way to beat addiction, truly defeat it and break it’s grip on your life. And it begins with surrendering to the reality.

 

“Ok, you win, you’re stronger than I am. I concede defeat.” This is one of the most important pieces of truth you will ever tell yourself. Once you believe that the drink, the drug, or the whatever you’re addicted to is stronger than your willpower, you are on your way to freedom.



 



It’s also hard to admit our lives have become a mess, a real shambles. Most of us care what others think of us; we like to feel respected by others. If you’re like that, it’s tough to say, “My life is a train wreck, and I’m not managing it very well.” It’s painful to admit the addiction has cost us so much and hurt the people whom we
care about.

 

But God loves you so much, He doesn’t want to leave you where you are, miserable and in trouble with your addiction. He has a solution, and it begins with you! A Psalm-writer in the Bible put it this way :

 

“Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.  He brought them out of darkness, the
utter darkness, and broke away their chains.” ( Psalm 107, verses 13-14, New International Version)

 

This is telling us that if we get honest with ourselves about our trouble, and talk to God honestly about it, asking Him for help, He will bring us out of our trouble. God has the power to break the hold that addiction has on us. But He is a polite God, and won’t involve Himself in your situation unless you ask Him in.

 

I can promise you this : for those of you who have the courage to tell yourself the truth, the courage to surrender to the reality, and the humility to ask God for help, you have what it takes to recover. You do this first step – make it from the heart – and your journey of recovery has begun.



 

See you next week!

Love,

Pastor Judy



 

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March 18, 2012

 

The second step of Celebrate Recovery reads “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

 

What a statement !!!!!  Did you hear that? It’s implying we’re crazy!!   But if you think about it, our behaviors in addiction ARE crazy!!!   Who in their right mind would spend the rent or mortgage money on alcohol or drugs? Who in their right mind would go chasing the empty promises of whiskey or weed? Who in a healthy frame of
mind would think it’s normal to have a relationship with a casino or a folder
of pornographic pics on their computer ??? Who would go back for more, when the
doctor (or judge, or minister, or CPS worker or fiancée or best friend or whoever…)
said “That’s enough. Time to stop."

 

The willpower most of us have is useless against addiction. At some point, most of us will use again, despite promises to self or to others, despite impending consequences sure to make life miserable, despite even a strong personal desire to not do it again. This is commonly referred to as the insanity of the first drink after a time of abstinence (or first use of a drug or any other first occurrence of a compulsive behavior.) The inner desire to achieve the high of the addiction is far stronger than willpower, and unless that inner desire is effectively changed, it will rule you; sooner or later, it will rule you. 

 

At this point , when faced with that strong inner desire, is when most people begin rationalizing why it would be ok to use or drink again. Those around the rationalizing person usually see the issue much more clearly, and are bewildered as to why the
alcoholic or addict cannot see it as clearly as they do. But the addicted person is blinded to the truth of their situation. That strong inner desire (remember the ‘compulsion’ ?) is the only ‘truth’ they can see.

 

The second step highlights the answer to this trap : a power greater than ourselves. That power ,of course, is God. That same creator of the universe has the power to restore our thinking to sanity from insanity. The same God whose mighty Hand created the earth and all that is in it , has the ability to heal our brains and bring the situation into clear focus : “This addiction is going to kill me and hurt the people I care about. I need to stop and stay stopped. “ This same God can make us sane.

 

Why is that so important? Because if we don ‘t see the truth of the addiction problem, that we alone cannot make ourselves well, then we will continue to try to fix ourselves. And we will continue to fail. (Remember Step One – we admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, and that our lives had become unmanageable!) If we really believe we are powerless then we have no
business being in the driver’s seat of Life.

 

Step Two prepares us to get out of the driver’s seat. This step helps us acknowledge that our situation is as bad or worse than we thought. We can’t even fix our messed-up thinking by ourselves.For sure, it’s not a comfortable step. Certainly doesn’t make us look or sound like winners to the world out there. But neither did throwing up on our shoes, getting in trouble with the law, or getting thrown out of the house, or fired from that good job because of our addiction. Remember I wrote in an earlier article, what Jesus said in the gospel of John, chapter 8, verse 32? He said the truth will set you free. Freedom is found in living the truth, not in living a lie. There is a power greater than us who can restore us to sanity. And that power is not you, nor me. It’s God.

 

If you struggle with an inner desire to return to your addiction, try asking the God of the universe to change that inner desire to a healthy one. Ask Him to help you change seats and prepare to let HIM drive, instead of you. 

 

You are so loved, friend.

 

See you next week!

 

Responses to this column are welcome at Facebook:

 

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Love,

Pastor Judy

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March 26,2012

 

The last 2 weeks, I have written about the first two steps of Celebrate Recovery:

      1.We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors,that our lives had become unmanageable.  

                             and

      2.We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us tosanity.



 

Many 12-Step groups often speak of a short version of the
first two steps : “I can’t, He can.”



 

And so here we are at the third step –

 

“We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.”



 

This step means that we recognize that since we can’t handle our addiction problem, and our lives are messed up from it, and since we have a Power greater than us
that can get us on track to sane living,we decide to turn our lives and our wills over to that greater Power – God.



 

Steps 1, 2, and 3 “I can’t, He can, and I think I’ll let Him.”



 

Many of us thoughtit was too scary or difficult to turn our will and our life over to ANYbody, much less “God”. We are a people who like to be in control,and for many of us, we hate being told what to do. To make it even muddier,many of us had had prior unhappy or unwelcoming experiences with churches or with people who professed to be loving Christians on Sundays but lived like hypocrites the other six days a week.

 

But if we sit back and think for a moment, our addiction had been controlling us for some time now, and the results weren’t too pretty. And while we may have misgivings about giving up some control, the Bibleassures us that God has our best interests at heart.

 

Ezekiel was a prophet for God, several hundred years before Jesus was born, and thru Ezekiel, God spoke of his love for his people, saying :

  “I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak….”

Friend, we aren’t talking about turning the reins over to Someone who is going to hurt us, kick us when we are
down, or victimize us as some people may have done. No, this is a loving, caring God who wants us to let go of the reins and let Him drive.

 

I can promise you that if you will make the decision to let God care for you in your recovery from addiction, you will not regret it. The best part is, God doesn’t rush us. He’s not pushy. We can make that decision to turn our lives and wills over to God’s care, and spend the rest of our lives practicing it. Before you know it, you will be getting a little bit better at letting God help, every day.

 

See you next
week!



 

Love, Pastor
Judy

 

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